DOMESTIC TERROR: HELD HOSTAGE BY RUMOR.... THE SKY IS FALLING, THE SKY IS FALLING!

In news from the yankee stalwarts in in the frozen state of Maine, come this story about a school being closed because of a gun rumor. Granted, that in itself, is not unusal or even imprudent. The difference here is that the rumor had already come to the attention of school officials and police and been resolved as a non-threat. But apparently that didn't stop the parent of one student, who called the local TV news folks to perhaps report that a massacre was being planned. So instead of quelling a wild-eyed rumor and continuing with the educational process, the superintendant of schools elected to close the school the following day. This, despite the fact they knew about the rumor, investigated and determined there was no threat.

...AS IF BEING A REPIGLICAN WASN'T BAD ENOUGH

Little Billy McDermott, the boy wonder candidate who sought a delegate's seat in last September's primary election, made the newspapers this week when he got fired from his RA gig at some local university. The reason cited was because he conspired with others to take a rubber duck hostage and hold it for ransom.... okay, that wasn't really the reason. The real reason, we're told, is because he dressed up as an arab terrorist while doing it. Wait, there's more. ... Seems his garb was an issue, not because of any potential fear it might have instilled in the community, but because it might have offended somebody of middle eastern descent.
Okay, let's pause for a moment and ponder who's more stupid: Is it Billy McDermott for failing to take into account the socio-political climate? Or is it the University for trying to ram a social engineering agenda down the throats of the student body? I'm voting for the university, it's supposedly run by adults who are supposed to know about and support the First Amendment. McDermott, at least, has youthful folly on his side, not to mention that his act was meant to be, and was in fact, funny. Whereas, the university's response was not funny and, as a state school, clearly violated McDermott's right to free speech when it punished him.
Listen, I'll remind you again: there is no constitutional right to not be offended. Grow-the-fuck-up. Learn to deal with life's little disappointments like an adult. If someone was offended, too bad. They'll get over it, or they won't. Either way, they'll deal with it.
That brings us to McDermott's role in this crying jag, in so much as it proves his immaturity and lack of fitness for a role in the state political arena... But he's still a kid. Maybe one day he'll grow up and give more and deeper consideration to his political perspective.

MC CAIN, SCHUMER PIMP ISP SPYING LAW

If there was any doubt remaining about John McCain's loyalty to the Forces of Darkness, they were probably erased this week when he and Chuck Schumer marshalled the support of great legal minds like Miss America and badass-wannabe/police whore John Walsh to support a bill that would require internet service providers monitor virtually every keystroke made by subscribers.
The proposed bill, The Securing Adolescents from Exploitation-Online Act, would require service providers to scan all email, downloads, uploads, instant messages and other transmissions for language or images that may involve minors in provocative or sexual situtations or poses.
While the purported intent of this bill may be righteous, there are concerns about its actual use, as our government has repeatedly demonstrated a propensity to misapply and abuse laws that are meant to protect the people.... First they scan for child pornography, then "terrorists," then run-of-the-mill petty criminals, and soon enough, anyone who opposes intrusive government policies... After all, what good would the technology be if it can't be abused.

FOX SET TO GIVE BUSINESSES A PROPAGANDA CHANNEL ALL THEIR OWN

Having apparently abandoned any pretext of "fair and balanced" reporting, Fox News and News Corps' Rupert "I Use My RIGHT Hand For Giving Handjobs" Murdock this morning announced it will launch a channel devoted to business news to challenge MSNBC.
While no date for the launch was announced, Fox Nes made clear it's intent in a brodcast this morning, telling viewers that channel would be "business-friendly," and unlike MSNBC, does not intend to report on every scandal that might put the business community in a bad light.

CNN SAYS ANNA NICOLE SMITH IS DEAD

This story moved 15 minutes ago.
Smith gained fame as a naked woman in the pages of Playboy magazine and later married an ancient gazillionaire who had one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. After he died Smith fought a years-long legal battle to claim her late husband's estate. She starred in a reality TV show to make ends meet while the case was decided.

FORMER NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR BRZEZINSKI WARNS CONGRESS ON FALSE-FLAG TERROR ATTACKS

Zbigniew Brzezinski, former Whitehouse National Security Advisor under President Jimmy Carter, last week told the Senate Foreign Relations Committee he forsees a possible "false-flag" terrorist event in the United State to justify a war with Iran. You can read about it here.
It's interesting because of an apparently growing belief by Americans that US officials had advance knowledge of the 9/11 terror attacks and may have been directly involved.

...THIS JUST IN

Former President Ronald Wilson Reagan disappointed his groupies today when he failed to return from the dead, as many expected him to do. We take you now to Mr. Reagan's California crypt, where reporter Winnie Stroker is standing by:

"That's right, Rat, I'm standing here in this thong.... eh, throng of true-believers who say the former president will indeed rise from the dead today. With me is Dick Limper, head of the grassroots organization, Dead But Not Forgotten. Mr. Limper, just what do you expect Ronald Reagan to do in the unlikely event he does rise from the dead today?"
"Why, take his place at the right hand of God, of course, Winnie."
"Excuse me, Mr. Limper, But isn't that place reserved for Jesus Christ?"
"No... Ronald Rea-"
"NO sir, I'm quite certain the bible says Jesus Christ."
"..... Oh, okay! I remember now; if he sees his shadow...."
"No, Mr. Limper, that's a groundhog. And it was last week."
"What!? We missed it? Well, did he see the groundhog?"
"Okay. Well, back to you Rat. Reporting from the Reagan crypt, I'm Winnie Stroker."

Thanks Winnie. And about that thong....
"Let it go, Rat."
Right. Tune in at eleven for further reports on this breaking story.

UND ZEN VE INVADE POLAND, YA?

Just 18 months to go until national ID cards begin to be issued. I still not clear on why this is necessary, although The Fearless Leader says it will help prevent terrorism. At the same time, however, we're told that the war in iraq is successful at preventing terrorism... So which one is the lie? Hmmmm. Maybe they're both lies. I mean, there's no foreign terrorism in the USA now, and we don't have national ID cards. So how is this mandatory policy going to help us and what is it going to cost us in terms of dollars, civil liberties and personal privacy. Will these cards have RFID chips embedded so our movements can be tracked constantly? .... Maybe it would be cheaper to just tattoo everyone's forearms' with a serial number, and just for the sake of decoration, a skull and crossbones.... strictly in the name of national security, of course.