Former President Ronald Wilson Reagan disappointed his groupies today when he failed to return from the dead, as many expected him to do. We take you now to Mr. Reagan's California crypt, where reporter Winnie Stroker is standing by:
"That's right, Rat, I'm standing here in this thong.... eh, throng of true-believers who say the former president will indeed rise from the dead today. With me is Dick Limper, head of the grassroots organization, Dead But Not Forgotten. Mr. Limper, just what do you expect Ronald Reagan to do in the unlikely event he does rise from the dead today?"
"Why, take his place at the right hand of God, of course, Winnie."
"Excuse me, Mr. Limper, But isn't that place reserved for Jesus Christ?"
"No... Ronald Rea-"
"NO sir, I'm quite certain the bible says Jesus Christ."
"..... Oh, okay! I remember now; if he sees his shadow...."
"No, Mr. Limper, that's a groundhog. And it was last week."
"What!? We missed it? Well, did he see the groundhog?"
"Okay. Well, back to you Rat. Reporting from the Reagan crypt, I'm Winnie Stroker."
Thanks Winnie. And about that thong....
"Let it go, Rat."
Right. Tune in at eleven for further reports on this breaking story.
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6 comments:
Not funny dude. You don't make fun of the dead.
Maybe you don't, but I make fun of all the brain-dead mofos who keep voting for Repiglicans all the time.
RT, So this is what happens when you smoke dope and then read Doonesbury!
is what would happen? I don't understand.
Dang Dick I thought you were the greatest president ever.
He also brought crack to the ghetto!
I am sick of all these people suddenly worshiping Reagan and calling for a return to his policies.
Exactly what policies do you think he had that were good?
He basically waived a flag while screwing the little people. Ol' President Bait and Switch.
http://www.freepress.org/columns/display/3/2004/912
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