The police team suffered another minor setback yesterday in their bid to overtake the American Catholic Church and the mafia as top criminal enterprise in the nation.
The blow came when a referee red-carded a rookie cop in Anne Arundel County, Md, for forcing an 18-year-old girl to expose her breasts to him so he could "cop" [Oh, so thaaats where the term comes from!] a feel and photograph them with his camera phone.
Odds makers say, however, the penalty is unlikely to affect the game's outcome, as the Police have a staggeringly huge budget and are generally able to hire new players at will.
Meanwhile, the Catholic Church revealed this week that its San Diego Diocese will likely file for bankruptcy protection after field judges there affirmed it must pay a several parties after being found guilty in lawsuits alleging members of that franchise sexually assaulted and abused several children. While the finding is expected to take the franchise out of the at least temporarily, it may not matter as the Portland, Oregon franchise appears to be ready to come back online after a break on the bankruptcy sidelines. Owners there have reportedly offered a $45 million payment plan to more than 150 victims of sexual assault and abuse, and that is well below the previous $75 million settlement offer made before the franchise was able to cloak itself in the protection of bankruptcy.
But both organizations still lag far behind more traditional and deeply entrenched crime organizations in their race for the gold. A spokesman for the Villains, Thieves and Scoundrels Union this week called the two organizations "pikers who keep tripping over their own deeks..... Joo have to remember, esse," he said, "in a criminal society, the only real crime is getting caught."
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