NOW THAT'S MUCH BETTER.... YOU CAN'T CLAIM THE MORAL HIGH GROUND IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE BEASTLY

Congressional Republicans this week beat back a wild-eyed attempt by the Whitehouse rules prohibiting torture in both the UCMJ and Common Article III of the Geneva Conventions. But those congressional leaders were firm and stood by the Godly and Christian moral convictions they tout so loudly on the stump. There simply must be a law prohibiting torture of detainees in American hands, they said. After all, we are good God-fearing Americans and we shouldn't allow that. And in the end, the "devil" George Bush backed down. The end result is that at last the president and his party are on the same page. So now the rule is, officially no torture of detainees is permitted. For the purposes to this new law, torture is defined as " intentional maiming that leaves permanent injuries, breaking bones, murder and rape." Not included in the definition is waterboarding, electric shocks to the genitals, beatings, being stripped naked and hung by chains in extremely hot or cold environments for days at a time, denial of food and psychological torture.
I know it may seem that the definition leaves a lot more methods out than in, but those Republican really fought hard for what they knew was right. And They're probably holding their heads high tonight. But I wonder how loudly they'll thump their chests and proclaim their righteousness when the rest of the nation finds out the punishment for those brave Americans who engage in torture.... In fact, there is none. CIA and employees of other national security agencies are immune from prosecution under the new law.