testing.... testing... is this the right-wing fascist blog?.... Geez, I'm glad I found you guys. ...HEY!! How ya doin' TruthInAction?!! I ain't seen you since we got locked up in jail for stealing that old woman's underwear off the clothesline. Now, I know you're probably still mad at me for sellin' you to them black muslim boys when we was locked up, but hail, we was in jail and I really needed that chewin' tobacco and Hershey bar.
Anyway, where was I?... Oh yeah...I been searching for days for others who think like me... the RIGHT way!!! Yeah... I'm with you; let's silence everyone who isn't a good old-fashion bible-toting, gun-slinging dumbass redneck white boy with a third-grade education and a mullet haircut.... say, any y'all got a chaw ya kin spare me... I like Redman, myself..... So, what was we talking about, again? Oh yeah, that Hillary gal..... Well ya know, if the VICE PRESIDENT says she's helping the terrorists.... well, ya just couldn't get the truth from a much higher source than that. I say we form up a posse, ride on up to New York and get rid of her... I mean, she ain't that bad lookin' but everybody say she's one of them lizabethans and all, so you know she ain't gonna give us none.... well, I gotta be goin' pretty soon. It's almost supper-time.... Momma's fixin' pork chops and she promised to let me use her store-bought teeth. Besides, I'm startin' to get a headache from all this intull… intilluct….. thinkin’.
... But I got just one question before I go..... What is it with them a-rab terrorist guys, anyway? Why are they mad at us? Hail, we didn't tell them they had to live in the desert, so far away from water and 7-11s and such.... But I think I know what the problem is.... they ain't really bad guys. They're probably just like us. I mean, look at them. ... They got beards, all of us on this blog got beards. They got machineguns, we all got machineguns.... I tell ya, I think the difference is they ain't got a proper god. I mean, Islam.... now what kind of name is Islam for a god. Why he ain't even got a last name, like our American god. And our god ain't in no far away place neither. Hail, you can drive to his house in a day.... and he's got a name that people all over the world know - Pat Robertson. Now there’s a proper name, and it’s easy to remember too.
After supper, I think I'm gonna call ol' Pat Robertson on the telephone and see if I can get him to go over there and work things out. .... But there are a lot of them a-rabs.... so maybe he should wait a little bit then take that other fella, Jerry Falwell, over to Mecca for the next big Islam party and just walk through the crowds, tell everybody who they are and set them a-rabs straight... That’d solve a lot of our problems, right there. Boy, that was easy....That’s why I love living on the Eastern Shore... everything is just so simple here.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
For a moment I thought I'd hit my bookmark to the National Lampoon Archives. After that last one, I now know you are on drugs.
Poisonpen:(such an appropriate name!) I just have two pieces of advice: First, get a sense of humor. I don't know where you would get one, but now would be an excellant time as everyone has a Labor Day Sale going on.... Secondly, you need to take your medication every day. Talk to your doctor and I'm sure he'll tell you that same thing.
Post a Comment